Paper 1, Question 2
The text was written by a famous entrepreneur by the name Richard Branson. The author's purpose of the text is to make readers feel positive about the subject of happiness. Branson uses his own personal experience in an attempt to relate to readers and show them the way to being happy.
Branson chose to write the text in the form of a letter. He does this by including ‘Dear stranger’ and ‘happy regards’ to open and close the letter. He also uses the first person perspective to directly address the audience. Branson begins the text by directly speaking to the reader with the words ‘You don’t know me’. By doing this, he is showing a personal correlation to the readers and showing that the following text will be meant for them. By using the first person, shown with the words ‘I’ and ‘me’, Branson is able to show how his personal experience is meaningful for the reader. He provides personal details, such as ‘my 66 years’ and ‘I’ve cheated death’ to draw the reader in and make them feel connected.
The letter is structured with many short paragraphs filled with short and long sentences. Some short sentences include ‘Try it’ and ‘Be still’. These short paragraphs differ greatly with the long sentences included by Branson. By doing this, he is able to show that the process of achieving happiness can be stressful at times, as well as calm. Within these paragraphs, Branson is able to separate his main points. This allows the reader to be able to understand what he is explaining and able to follow along with the subject of happiness. In the beginning of the text, Branson begins to explain things about himself. He includes lists of past experiences to follow through with this. For example, in the second paragraph, he begins a list with ‘I've been confronted by biggest fears’ and continues to list the hard things he has gone through in his lifetime. These examples are another way Branson uses his past to make the readers feel connected to the letter and Branson himself.
As the paragraphs continue, Branson begins to talk about ‘So many people’ and ‘Kids are often asked’. By doing this, he is taking the letter more off of himself and showing to readers that he is not the only one who goes through the same thoughts.
Branson is able to directly show the purpose of the text, being that happiness can be hard to figure out. As he directs each paragraph in a different way, the beginning moves from a negative tone to a positive one. For example, the first list that Branson includes is made up of negative lexis of failure, ending with the example of ‘had my heart broken’. Then, the following paragraph includes another list, yet this one is much more positive. These examples include ‘I am successful’ and ‘wealthy’. These lists provide examples that the audience is able to relate to. Branson includes them to ensure that at least one example from the list would be relatable by the readers. This also contributes to the main idea of the text that Branson is trying to portray. The lists are his way of showing the readers that happiness in life does not come easy.
The language in the text is used to contribute to the overall tone of helpfulness and positivity. In the first paragraph, Branson uses the phrase ‘let it grow’ when referring to happiness. This is a form of personification that allows the reader to understand happiness more and what it takes to really have it. By including this, Branson is able to communicate with the readers and make sure that his point is made clear. ‘Appreciate the fruits in life’ is a metaphor used by Branson to emphasize the good things in life. There is also a use of alliteration in the second paragraph with the words ‘stressful’, ‘scared’, and ‘sad’. By doing this, the writer is associating negative words and feelings as a way to relate to the reader and show them that the subject of happiness can be difficult at times.
When concluding the text, Branson uses phrases such as ‘you need to do’ and ‘start being’. This range of lexis is positive, and is much different compared to the first paragraph with more of a tone of helplessness. Branson shows this with the phrase ‘a tough time’. Through the letter, Branson shows the ways in which happiness can be achieved by sharing his personal experiences with the reader. He also directly speaks to the reader, making the letter very intimate and personal. Overall, this text is very effective in making the readers feel connected with the author.
Hi Caitlyn!
ReplyDeleteLooking at the AO1 rubric, you demonstrated a detailed understanding of Richard Branson's letter, as you discussed several characteristic features that were seen throughout his letter. In beginning your blog by discussing how Branson relates to the audience and his purpose for writing. Your effective reference to characteristic features further strengthen your analysis. You tended to write about the purpose of the letter in great depth, which showed your understanding of the letter even more. I would award you 4 marks here.
Looking now at the AO3 rubric, I can see a clear, coherent and well structured analysis. When reading your analysis, I could clearly understand the message that you were trying to get through, and in adding a comment on Branson's use of personal experience, you showed further analysis. With that being said, you had an effective selection of elements such as form, structure and language, as you discussed features such as certain phrases that were used by Branson, such as "be still." This shows that you knew what you were writing about, and you followed these features with explanatory comments that ensured that you would get the points. You exhibited a detailed awareness of the writer's stylistic choices as well. Here, I would award you 13 marks.
Overall: 17/25
AO1: ⅘ marks
ReplyDeleteYou show a detailed understanding of the text in the first paragraph you describe the context and purpose of the text. You were able to explain it in a few sentences which shows that you easily understand the letter. You talk about characteristic features effectively as you use buzz words, ‘alliteration’ and ‘negative lexis’, and then proceed to explain how using this language connects to the audience. To improve your analysis and make it more sophisticated in understanding you could be more specific. At times you give a more broad idea of what is being said. For example, in your second paragraph, you talk about how Branson being personal in his writing allows the reader to connect to him and the letter. However, you never really explain why or how they would connect to Branson. When you quote ‘my 66 years’ you could go on and say how his having experience in life shows ethos. The readers connect with Branson by being the same age or younger as everyone has or is going to gain personal experience of happiness through life.
AO3: 13/20 marks
As said in the paragraph before your analysis is detailed in structured well. You split up the paragraphs whenever you talk about a new part of the text. This makes it easier to follow and read. However, in the third paragraph, I believe you could split that up between talking about the paragraphs and sentence structure and when you talk about what Branson is explaining. I see the connection between the two but I feel like it would flow easier with a separate paragraph. You use effective elements of form, structure, and language. Especially in the form and structure. One thing that really stood out to me in the letter was the repetition used throughout the entire text. To strengthen your analysis I think adding how impactful the repetition is in the letter would help. Because Branson is giving advice the repetition of his words shows that he is really trying to get the reader to listen to what he is saying and take his advice. You do a great job relating your analysis to the audience as you do it every time. You don’t just briefly say why but you explain and this shows that you understand what you are talking about. I said this earlier about how you could be a little more specific and use more buzzwords but overall you link your evidence to the appropriate language being used. You aren’t just throwing in buzzwords just to get marks.
17/25
Hi Caitlyn!
ReplyDeleteAO1: Detailed understanding of text (meaning, audience, context): “The text was written by a famous entrepreneur by the name Richard Branson. The author's purpose of the text is to make readers feel positive about the subject of happiness. Branson uses his own personal experience in an attempt to relate to readers and show them the way to being happy. Branson chose to write the text in the form of a letter. He does this by including ‘Dear stranger’”
Mostly effective reference to characteristic features: “form of a letter”; “short paragraphs filled with short and long sentences”; “As the paragraphs continue, Branson begins to talk about ‘So many people’ and ‘Kids are often asked’. By doing this, he is taking the letter more off of himself and showing to readers that he is not the only one who goes through the same thoughts.”; ‘purpose’; ‘lexis’; ‘tone’; ‘personification’; ‘metaphor’; ‘alliteration’;
[4 Marks]
AO3: Analysis is detailed, coherent and effectively structured: Everything is in short paragraphs and is logical and well structured and there isn’t a huge paragraph with everything in it. (4)
Appropriate selection of elements of form, structure and language of analysis: “form of a letter”; “many short paragraphs filled with short and long sentences”; ‘purpose’; ‘tone’; ‘lexis’; ‘personification’ (3)
Somewhat clear awareness of writer’s stylistic choices, including how style relates to audience and shapes meaning: “the first paragraph with more of a tone of helplessness. Branson shows this with the phrase ‘a tough time’.” I am confused because I think Branson might not have had this in mind when he wrote ‘a tough time’; “the first paragraph with more of a tone of helplessness. Branson shows this with the phrase ‘a tough time’; “ The language in the text is used to contribute to the overall tone of helpfulness and positivity. In the first paragraph, Branson uses the phrase ‘let it grow’ when referring to happiness. This is a form of personification that allows the reader to understand happiness more and what it takes to really have it. By including this, Branson is able to communicate with the readers and make sure that his point is made clear.” This is a good point. (3)
Uses effective and appropriate language to link evidence with explanatory comments: “‘Try it’”; “‘Be still’”; “‘I’ and ‘me’”.
(4)
Total: 18 Marks
Hey Caitlyn
ReplyDeleteA01
You have a detailed understanding of the letter and the context of it, You proved this by listing the purpose of the letter and how he uses his personal experiences to relate to people reading. You also mentioned reference to characteristic features of the letter by mentioning how and why he would have written it in the form of a letter ⅘
A03
For this section I am giving you a score of 13 because you had detailed analysis and mentioned the form structure and language of the letter and went into depth with it. You also had good awareness of the author's stylistic choices and you used effective language to link the evidence and explain it well.